Lesson #37: It’s ok to be a bit lost, because newsflash we all are
It’s been too long since I’ve written. Too long since I’ve felt inspired to put experience on paper. Too long since I’ve shared what’s going on.
Why? What has been stopping me.
Lack of inspiration? A failure in diligence? A deficit of time? No on all accords.
I sat and tried to pour forth my experiences; from jobs that failed to resemble careers, to an abundance of time on my hands and no conceivable way to spend it, to a relationship that kept my mind in a perpetual state of flux. I tried to translate thoughts to prose and yet my rhythm was off.
I started this blog with lessons, things that I felt sure of as I continued marching forward post graduation, but the reality is that the longer time ticks on the less sure I am of things, the less able I feel to turn my experiences into lessons. Sure a situation might come up that yields a certain response, and while that might feel like something that I can draw salient conclusions from, the next go around I will realize that things have changed, that I have changed, that there are no black and white answers, no rule book, no grand understandings that when applied to everyone will work.
I recently moved to Mexico. I got a job, working for an overseas volunteer company, and it felt like a good next step so I took it. The reality is that I don’t know what exactly I am doing. I have this false idea that other people know, that there comes a point when clarity strikes. However, what I believe now is that it is simply about moving. About committing to an idea or a direction and following through with it. There is no perfect solution. No path in life so much as steps that we take. Steps that when looking back create a path, that does in fact make sense, even though sometimes it can be nearly impossible to see it at the time.
I have been having a hard time writing, not for lack of material, but for lack of conclusions. Until I realized that this is a conclusion in and of itself. The realization that we are all a bit lost with no way to escape. It is about embracing this aspect of life and realizing that there is no point fighting it.